


Desperate Measures

by sweetimagines



Series: Desperate Measures [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Commander Dameron, F/M, Poe Dameron Fanfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 08:39:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15882504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetimagines/pseuds/sweetimagines
Summary: The Resistance finds itself in crucial need of supplies. Poe Dameron has to push aside his presupposition of Y/N as a negative presence in order to work together.





	1. Korriban

The strategy center is already full and debriefing is taking place when Poe walks in, BB-8 rolling at his heel. He’s not usually late, but he lost track of time working on his X-Wing. 

Leia, exactly across from him on the other side of the holo table, is updating the fleet on the low-fuel situation the Resistance finds itself in. The General grounds one too many squadrons for the time being, but ensures them it won’t be for long.

Dameron’s gaze falls behind Leia, where Y/N Y/L/N stands, almost concealed by the low light. Nonetheless, almost healed bruises are visible under her eye and dried blood covers a few cuts on her lips. He recognizes the clothes she’s wearing: it’s official uniform, Connix’s if he’s not mistaken, and he wonders if it were willingly lent or if she stole it from the laundry.

He has seen her around base for the past few days, but the last place he expected to run into her is in an official briefing session. Her presence has everyone on edge, specially him. A look of disconcert can’t be hidden on his face.

Y/N stands with a stiff posture, hands behind her back, most likely imitating some of the officers. She’s silent and motionless, simply absorbing any and all information. 

Poe trusts General Organa; still, this is one time he can’t back her play. He can’t help but wonder what’s the amount of credits it would take for Y/N to sell the Resistance for.

His thoughts muffle all sounds and his eyes focus only on the stranger. He only comes back to his senses when Leia snaps her finger in front of him. That’s when he realizes it’s just the three of them in the room.

“I take it you didn’t pay attention to a word I was saying, Commander.” Organa sounds more amused than offended by that.

Dameron’s jaw tightens before he mutters an apology. His uncomfortableness around Y/L/N is evident. He can’t believe how deep under his skin Y/N gets, given that he knows not much but rumors about her.

Leia fills him in on the mission but all he hears is. “You and Y/N.” He can’t believe Leia is deploying her on the mission that will literally dictate the future of the Resistance. The General picks up on his dismay.

“Is there a problem?” She’s hoping he’ll deny.

“Y/N’s a thief. She can’t be trusted” His words come out harsher than he meant. 

“Smuggler.” Leia corrects him sternly. Her voice firmer than ever before with him. “May I remind you that so is my husband.” She could’ve added “war hero” to the mix, but it seems as if Poe got the message.

He bites the inside of his lips not to curse at himself for not thinking before speaking. All the while, Y/N stands in the same spot, motionless, silent and unaffected - for some reason that irritates Dameron even more. 

The General dismisses Y/N. Poe is sure that it’s because she doesn’t want to expose her to further humiliation. The smuggler girl nods before leaving.

“Haven’t you stolen for us?” Organa asks rhetorically. 

“For the Resistance, not personal gain.” Poe sees a look in Leia’s eyes that is very often there, of knowing that something is dangling in front of his eyes and he’s not seeing it.

“Desperate needs call for desperate measures, Commander.” Although she has a good point, Dameron can’t help but want to take the lead.

“With all due respect, General, I don’t need her. Black Squadron can handle this.” He’s more than confident in his persuasion skills and any of his pilots can fly a cargo ship, but Leia doesn’t entertain the idea.

“She’s the one with the connection. All I need from you is to make sure  **she**  and the cargo come back safe.” Leia emphasizes bringing Y/N back safe and Poe wonders if it has to do with the smuggler’s black eye.

“You’re dismissed, Commander. Get a good night sleep, you leave tomorrow at oh-five-hundred-hours.” The General doesn’t give him any more room to argue, not that he had any more reasons.

* * *

BB-8 stares at the black and blood-orange [YT-2400](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.obsidianportal.com%2Fmap_images%2F391558%2FYT-2400_Sitemap.jpg&t=ZDFkZDhkN2JiMjExZjk0MDgwYmZiYTM3MjliYjE5MWFmMDJjNWE4YSxpRXQyWkFFMQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AaF8KcT6bNszhlYTqD0J_fw&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsweetimagines.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F171334331506%2Fdesperate-measures-part-1&m=1) ship from a safe distance - scared it may fall apart on top of him - beeping anxiously at Poe, who’s standing beside him, wearing civilian clothes and carrying a jacket for when they’re in the cold hyperspace. 

“Yeah. I know, buddy.” Dameron inspects the ship a bit closer, mouth agape, wondering how it even lifts from the ground. 

He’s startled by a [round droid](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fpre00.deviantart.net%2Fdda4%2Fth%2Fpre%2Fi%2F2016%2F030%2F6%2F0%2Fbb_6_droid_by_euderion-d9puz6h.jpg&t=YzhlZjUwMDdhOGNiMWViNmI3NTRiYjdmMDUxNzk2YWQzN2NiMGI0MyxpRXQyWkFFMQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AaF8KcT6bNszhlYTqD0J_fw&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsweetimagines.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F171334331506%2Fdesperate-measures-part-1&m=1) - just like BB-8, except blue details instead of orange, and it’s considerably more well kept than the ship - quickly running up the boarding ramp past him. As he turns around, Y/N is walking towards him. 

Her hair is tied up in a bun with a few stray hairs framing her face, and she seems to be wearing her own clothes now. Ocean blue, tight, high waisted pants paired with a beige long sleeved blouse that’s secured inside her pants, leather gloves with the fingers cut out, black ankle boots with no heels and to finish off, blaster secured on her right leg. 

Her eyes don’t leave her datapad as she strides, studying one last time the R-5 grid coordinates. She’s been there enough times to know it like the back of her hand, but the First Order is most likely monitoring the Kamat Krote trade route, forcing Y/N to deal directly on the planet. Landing there adds it’s own risks, but they don’t have much of a choice. “Shall we, Commander?” 

“You’re joking, right?” 

“I don’t know what you mean.” He’s not sure if she’s playing dumb or just really doesn’t see the state of her ship.

“You can’t expect me to fly this old piece of junk.” He points at a few places where the paint is chipping from blaster shots and scratches. Poe’s palms sweat nervously just by wondering how it got that way - not that his X-Wing comes back from a mission in much better shape. 

“I don’t. I only expect you to be inside it when  **I**  fly it.” Y/N knows the ship doesn’t look like much from the outside but she has more important things to worry than a paint job.

Poe reluctantly sits on the copilot chair - wishing he could escort with his fighter - noticing the modified dashboard. Y/N has adjusted it so that she does’t need a copilot at all.

Y/L/N joins Poe once she locked the boarding ramp. She slides on a sherpa denim jacket full of pockets before sitting. Poe wonders if it’s to take away attention to the ones inside. It seems that’s where she keeps the important stuff, like her vibro-knife. 

“Welcome on board the Pursuit, Commander.” Y/N smirks at him.

Y/N grips the stick and slowly takes off the ship, hovering above D’Qar for a while until they get clearance to jump. Dameron’s only hope at this point is that the ship holds together in light speed, looking at her punching the coordinates to Korriban. In no time, the Resistance base is far behind them and streaks of light ahead.

* * *

Y/N takes the ships out of light speed once BB-6 beeps they’re orbiting the edge of Stygian Caldera. She slowly guides them around until they reach their destination and she makes their way down the planet’s surface. Y/L/N’s a much smoother pilot than Poe anticipated from the ship’s state.

He studies the details of the formerly Sith governed planet. Despite it’s burning red color, it’s rather cold. The rocky deserts, mountains, canyons and dry riverbeds take over most of the surface. Between a few tombs and some ruins, there’s a small town. It’s almost beautiful if you look over the dark facts of it’s past.

Y/L/N lands on the first flat surface she finds. It looks man-made, to serve as a private docking bay. Her descent is so light it feels as if they are still in the air. To Poe, it’s a contradiction due to the ship’s conservation state - or lack thereof. He was expecting a crash-and-burn landing. At least.

Dameron slides on his jacket as they start walking towards the center of the town, both droids at their feet, when a little Theelin/Human hybrid child with pinkish skin and hair runs towards them. Poe unholsts his blaster, not at the girl but at whom may show up with her. He’s been in too many ambushes because of kids not to be eerie about it to begin with. 

He notices the calm manner Y/N is in and finds it odd, expecting a smuggler to be twice as paranoid as him. With no processing time, the little girl’s arms are around Y/N’s neck and her feet flying in the air. 

“Hey, Aliha! You look great!” Y/N’s now holding the girl at arms length and kneeling down to have a closer look.

That’s when Poe sees the scars on Aliha’s arm, consistent with the kinds he’s used to seeing after a blaster shot. His stomach revolts at the thought of a child being shot, but that’s the war they are in.

“Thanks to you. The bacta suit worked wonders.” The little girl spins around to give Y/L/N’s a proper look. 

Y/N ruffles Aliha’s hair and the girl runs back to her mother. Poe seems to be in shock with the thought of her doing something good. She likes the look of confusion in him. Y/L/N didn’t quite hear it but it sounded as if BB-8 cursed at the Commander.

* * *

Not far from where they met Aliha, there is a forgotten Sith temple turned home to Alvaric Winccol, who, as far as Poe knows, is Y/N’s supplier. 

The guards stationed outside the walls escort them in without a word. Dameron is itching to question it, but follows Y/L/N lead.

They’re guided through the temple into a common room transformed into an office. The guards instruct them to wait outside while they get clearance from their boss. 

“You let me do all the talking. Ok, Commander?” She raises her eyebrows expecting understanding from him.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Poe enjoys when people call him by the right tittle, but there’s something about Y/N’s tone that give him the impression she doesn’t mean it to have any real importance. 

“I know your reputation just as much as you know mine.” She gives him a look.

“Maybe we have both been mislead?

“I hope not about everything.” She winks and, before he can inquire further, they are allowed in.

Poe walks a little behind Y/N and they stop a few feet from a large desk set in the middle of the brightly lit room. On the other side of it, sits Alvaric, dressed in something between casual and armor, the gray locks in his long hair indicating his age and his face completely unreadable. His gaze fixated on Y/N but even though he’s not looking directly at Poe, he knows the man is aware of his presence. 

“Y/N Y/L/N. Didn’t think I’d see the graces of you anymore.” His voice is deep and raspy - probably to do with the scar on his throat - but there’s a hint sympathy on it. 

“Why is that?”

“I heard about the incident on your last shipment and now I can see the results of it.” He points at the bruises on her face.

“It was nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Is that so…” His gaze falls on the man behind her. “Why the bodyguard then?”

“Better safe than sorry.” 

“Well, kid. It pains me to say this, but we can’t do business anymore.”

“What?” 

“We’re aware of the First Order’s methods of questioning… and we can’t risk them knowing about our side trades…”

Poe’s thoughts wonder at what they did to her.

“I’d never give any information. You know that.”

The guards start surrounding them slowly and Poe doesn’t like the odds, so he tries to get Y/N to back off. 

“We should go.” He points at the armed guards closing in on them.

“No!” She snatches her arm back and steps closer to the supplier. “Who smuggled you an air purifier when your wife was sick and the First Order denied you help?”

The man clenches his fist at having that used against him. Y/N doesn’t have a choice. Leia is counting on her and she will play as dirty as she has to to get what she came for.

“Even if I wanted to help we don’t have anything to spare.”

“Cut the bantha poodoo.” They both know he always has more than what the Order takes. 

“Aliha… Who broke into a dreadnought to go after the bucket head who blasted your little girl?” She doesn’t even add the fact that she also brought back a bacta suit to heal her wounds. “What did I ever ask in return?”

Silence takes over the room. The man gasps and unclenches his fists. 

Poe chokes on his own words. Not once she tried to defend or explain herself in the times he was offending her. Now he realizes how wrong he was. 

“I swear to you, the First Order has no clue who’s my supplier.” Her voice exumes conviction.

“Fine. But in the first sign of trouble, we’re out for good.” Alvaric agrees reluctantly. “I can supply you with food and weapons.”

“We really need fuel.” 

“I don’t have much. It will be enough to help, but you’ll have to find another supplier.”

“Thank you, Alvaric.” She lets out a relieved breath. Poe is amazed at how she turned the situation around. He was sure she had signed their death sentence when she defied the guy. “If it’s no bother we’d like to escort the cargo ourselves.”

“The price is the same if you load it yourself.”

She nods and pays him the credits for all of it. Poe realizes this can’t have been paid by the Resistance. Y/N is covering the expenses herself.  

They are escorted out where they’ll collect their crates.

* * *

They load the last crate on the propulsion loadplate.

So you’ve been supplying the Resistance all along?” Poe is testing the waters for his real question.

“Since Han left, yes.” Y/L/N doesn’t like to think about that. She knows how worried Leia gets when he’s off on a run, but after Ben, he just stopped coming back.

“What exactly happened on the last shipment?” Poe asks softly, not wanting to trigger anything.

Y/N knows he’s been trying to find the right way of asking since Alvaric mentioned, but there’s no right way of going about it.

“Long story.” She wanted to leave it at that but Dameron’s pleading eyes have a stronger effect on her than anticipated. 

* * *

_Y/N takes her ship out of light speed and, before she can prep for the next jump, a thin white and blue ship hovers not far from her. It doesn’t show up on her sensors, making her feel something’s not right. BB-6 _comes_  rolling and bopping in the cockpit t _o confirm her suspicions_. _

_“First Order? Are you sure?” Six beeps in confirmation._

_“Kriff.” The tractor beam pulls her ship towards the Carrion Spike. Her mind rushes to every possible outcome and none of them ends as she wants.  
_

_The blinking light in her dashboard indicates the ship is ready for the next jump and without thinking she presses it, but nothing happens. The ship goes dark _a few seconds later_  ._

_“We lost control, Six.” The realization of how screwed they are just hits.  
_

_Y/N can’t have the Order getting their hands on any information about where’s she’s going._

_Y/L/N types in a code on her datapad to protect whatever information the ship retains. That’s an enhancement on tech security she thanks to DJ, as a way to get even for leaving her behind on a heist. Of course he didn't exactly offered to do it; obligated is more like it._

_She smashes the datapad, so that only with a direct command on the ship the encryption will be reverted, then instructs BB-6 to hide, but the concerned droid won’t move._

_“I’ll be fine. I’ve got my blaster.” Y/L/N draws it. “You keep out of sight and whatever happens you get back to the Resistance.” She pats the top of her droids dome head and nods her to go.  
_

_The sounds of metal being forcefully bent snaps her back into reality. She ducks on a hallway that gives her full view of the docking ramp although keeping her still a bit concealed._

_She shoots at the first sight of the enemy but, unfortunately, misses the tall, old man with a gray mohawk, a terrible cocky mustache and a blue tattoo on the side of his forehead._

_“That’s not very hospitable, is it?” His voice just as boastful as his mustache. He hits Y/N with the back of his blaster and she falls unconscious.  
_

_Y/L/N wakes up unsure of how long it has passed,_ _blinking to adjust at the light. She tries to reach for her face but the retrains on her arms don’t allow it. Realization of where she is strikes with a hit of fear._

_“Sleep well?” She hears her captor’s voice in the dark corner of the room before he steps into the light.  
_

_“I’m Agent Terex. Pleasure to meet you.”  
_

_“Y/N. I’d shake your hands, but…” She waves them as much as the cuffs allow and Terex chuckles.  
_

_“You know, I was just going to confiscate your illegals but then you had to go and shoot me, so I knew you were smuggling something important.”_

_“After my men knocked you out, I found a hatch in the cargo hold._ _Do you know what I found there?”_

_Y/N remains silent and unaffected by his superior demeanor._

_“Not very chatty, are you?” He plays with a few instruments on a metal table. “You will be.”_

_She prepares herself for what’s to come, completely sure she’ll never rat._

_“I found enough weapons to support a small army.” He picks one of the sharpest tools and examines it close to her face in a way to intimidate her, but it doesn't work._

_“I’m thinking to myself. What would a petty smuggler like yourself be doing with that many weapons?”_

_“A girl can never be too protected.”  
_

_“No. You see. I think you’re supplying this to the Resistance.”  
_

_“That’s ridiculous.” She laughs.  
_

_“Then why else would your systems be so highly encrypted?” He brushes the blade on her cheek, threatening to cut but pulling back before it can draw blood. “Tell you what? You give me the location of the Resistance base and I keep this run between us.”  
_

_When she refuses, he gives the clear signal to one of his men to “roughly persuade” her._

_Y/N continues to deny answers. Relying on sarcasm and humor to keep going, but that only seems to egg Terex on until the point she’s knocked out by the pain._

_He slaps her awake, ready to continue his questioning. Again, she has no idea of how much time has passed, wondering if BB-6 managed to get back to the Resistance. Probably not, otherwise Terex would’ve said something before or after a punch._

_This time Terex takes it upon himself to attempt at extracting answers from her. She takes he’s not glad to have to get his hands dirty, but he’s desperate, and that’s something she has on her favor._

_“I’m going to crack your encryption sooner or later. Why don’t you do yourself a favor and end this now?”  
_

_“Good luck with that.” Y/N grins, her teeth bloody from the cuts inside her lips._

_Before he can punish her for another wrong answer, there’s a knock on the door._

_“_ _Agent Terex. Capitan Phasma is holding for you.” One of his men informs him._

_“Excelent. I’ll be right there.”  
_

_Y/L/N studies the room once he leaves, planning her escape. It’s not difficult to get out. She just hopes they’ll have an escape pod she can take to get back on her ship._

_He comes back with a smirk after the holocall._

_“You’ll be pleased to know General Hux himself demanded lead on your case. He will be here shortly.” He straightens his uniform and smiles from the thought of the reward for catching a Resistance smuggler._

_“Given the interrogation I conducted, they’ll probably skip you right to Kylo Ren.”_

_“You call this an interrogation?” She catches his attention. “You just made absurd assumptions and barely tickled me.”  
_

_Terex gets offended by that and quickly towers over her with her own vibro knife in hand. He slices painfully slow from her collarbone to her armpit, a sick grim curl his lips up. The rush he gets from it is intense and Y/N realizes he’s too used to people doing his dirty work for him._

_But now that Terex got a taste of it, he can’t stop. His next step is cutting through her shirt on her abdomen.Y/N bites down a scream and focuses on why she poked at him in their first place. Her fingers remove a pin from his uniform, so lightly he doesn’t notice and she pretends to pass out from the pain._

_He drops the dirty knife in the metal table, along with the other torture devices previously explored, and exits the cell. Y/L/N doesn't waste a single second and works her way out of the cuffs._

_Y/N stands up but has to hold her weight on the wall until she gets used to the pain. She cleans the blade of her vibro knife and uses the handle to knock down the guard outside her cell._

_Y/N pilots an escape pod back to the Pursuit and, in the exact moment the lights go back on, she realizes _BB-6 managed to remain unseen by Terex. Once he left, she started working on regaining control of the ship, being eventually s_ uccessful in freeing them from The Carrion Spike’s power. _

_She jumps to a random system nearby just so she’ll be gone before Hux arrives with the Supremacy. Six beeps that she needs medical attention, but all she cares about is making sure there’s no way Terex can trace the ship._

_Y/L/N sets the coordinates to the Resistance base and prepares herself to brief and apologize to Leia about her failure._

* * *

Dameron stops and holds gently on her shoulders, making her face him. Pity and concern tattooed on his face as his eyes dart down to where scars trace her skin. He wants to express how sorry he is for what she went through, but it seems no words can.

Her heart beats in the back of her throat as a hint of panic rushes through her. Y/N hasn’t had time to deal with what happened as the Resistance still required her services. She never told anyone about it -except for Leia - the smuggler underestimated the effects torture had on her. 

She doesn’t have time to deal with it yet as BB-8 and BB-6 nudge at their shin and roll after something, making their eyes fall on the Pursuit. 

There’s a boy coming down the boarding ramp, carrying a sack on his back. Whatever it is, it doesn’t belong to him.

“Son of a blaster.” Y/N blurts out.

For a second, the boy paralyzes as he realizes he’s been caught. He considers his options and goes with running away. Poe follows after him as fast as he can.

The boy takes path on alleyways only a local would know well enough to use as an escape route but Dameron doesn’t let it stop him as he’s quickly catching up to the boy’s pace.

BB-8 rolls fast but on a different road. Y/N follows after the orange droid who’s beeping about knowing the blueprint of the city enough to find a shortcut to where he reckons the thief is running to. 

BB-6 stays behind as she’s personally programmed by Y/N to care for the ship first in moments like this.

The Commander is breathless from the chase but he’s so close to the boy that he pushes through. He makes a mental note to add more cardio to his daily work out and just as he’s snapped back to reality, the boy takes a sharp turn on a corner. When Poe makes the same move, he’s hit across the face with a scrap metal.

Dameron stumbles back and the boy turns around to sprint away. Without watching where he’s going, he hits toes first on BB-8.

The droid shocks the thief, only enough to stun him and rolls over to Poe, beeping in concern. 

“I’m alright, buddy.” He pats the top of his droid’s dome head.

Y/N grabs the sack and takes back what was stolen.

“Hyperdrive…” She reveals skeptical. Poe shares her disbelief. Of all the things to steal, that was certainly the least the was expecting. Specially from a child.  

Before she has a chance to interrogate the boy, he’s back on his feet and rushing away.

* * *

BB-6 is waiting for them at the Pursuit. She had loaded the ship as to keep all their cargo safe while they were gone. Y/N thanks her and asks for a diagnosis on the damage. 

“Smashed what?” She drops the bag with the hyperdrive plate and runs to the cockpit. Poe and BB-8 enter the ship slowly.

“Yes, I’m fine, Six.” Poe mutters at the questioning droid. But she doesn’t take the answers, guiding him to the refresher so he can clean his bleeding nose. BB-8 is rolling behind them carrying the bag.

Dameron walks into the cockpit, head tilted back and a white towel now soaked and stained red. 

Y/N’s slouched down on the dashboard, face between her crossed arms. Broken pieces of metal scattered on the floor around her. Poe realizes she’s unaware of his presence and coughs to warn her he’s there.

Y/L/N raises her head and takes on the same stiff posture he saw on the strategy center back at D’Qar. 

“He trashed the nav computer.” Y/N runs her fingertips through her scalp in frustration for being stranded until it’s operational again.

“A kid stealing a hyperdrive is one thing, but this… all of it. It’s suspicious, sounds more like sabotage than thievery.” Poe speculates.

“First Order?” She wants to make sure this is what he is insinuating.

“It’s a high chance of it.” Dameron doesn’t want to believe as much as her. He doesn’t know how to insure her that he’ll never let what happened in her last shipment repeat itself. 

That makes her heart race and she swallows dry. Y/N knows what she needs to make her mind stop running circles around the thought of being captured by the Order again.

“It will take BB-6 a few hours to fix it all.” Six beeps in agreement. “Come on, Commander. I know a cantina.” 

Poe doesn’t argue against it. He also needs a drink. 

* * *

Y/N choses a high round table with two stools in a corner of the cantina, far from the crowd but still within eyesight of the band playing in the center. 

“I’m gonna get us drinks.” Poe is already half way towards the bar before Y/N can protest. Usually, she wouldn’t allow anyone to choose for her, but the smuggler girl is tired and just wants to relax. 

BB-8 finds a spot under the table and vigilantly looks around for any signs of danger.

“Corellian Whiskey. Really?” Her brows raise at the sight of the dark liquid inside the two glasses Dameron is carrying.

“When people buy you a drink it’s complementary to say “thank you”. At least that’s what I hear…” Poe jokes, taking a sit across from Y/N and sliding one of the glasses to her.

“Thank you.” She touches the rim of her glass to his, making a cheer. “It’s just that if I knew you wanted Corellian alcohol, we would’ve stayed in the Pursuit.”

“Why is that?” He swings at his drink, wincing from the contact on his split lip. 

“I still got a bunch left from my last run home.” Her words make Poe choke on his drink.

“No way you’re Corellian.” Disbelief displayed on his face.

“I’m insulted it’s so hard to believe.” Y/L/N takes a sip of her Whiskey. A mixture of relief and longing awake within her from the familiar taste.

“Speaking of insults…” He takes a more serious stance. “Why did you let me insult you?” 

“I know the truth and if you do or do not doesn’t stop me from doing my job.” 

“To be clear, your job is to sponsor the Resistance, not just steal and smuggle?” 

“Yes and no. Don’t get me wrong. I still keep a share of the money. I need to fuel the ship, eat, stuff. I also do my private heists.”  

“To help the little girl who was shot by the First Order.”

She simply nods.

“Why aren’t you WITH the Resistance then?” 

“A wise man, and skilled slicer, once said to me: Live free, Don’t Join.” 

Dameron looks at her, waiting for more context. He doesn’t get it. 

“Then he precoded to escape with OUR stolen goods while I took the fall…” 

They both laugh at that before taking a swing at their glasses. 

“Sorry if I don’t take the words of a slicer for wisdom.” Poe looks at his empty glass and instructs BB to get them a refil. The droid beeps that he’s not a waiter but complies anyways. 

“There you go again, Commander.” Y/N really thought now he would know better than to jump to conclusions. 

Poe doesn’t understand why the deep disappointment in the smuggler’s face bothers him as much as it does.

“You don’t look down on Resistance mechanics or cooks. To you, they are all doing their part.” She takes a breath to let her sentence sink in and BB-8 arrives with their drinks. “With us, you are so quick to judge. How do you know that what he was stealing wasn’t beneficial to the Resistance?”

“Was it?” Poe can’t manage more than that. He didn’t see that level of defense even when he was going all out on her but at the first strike at someone else it makes her speak her mind. Dameron relates and respects it.

“Not exactly. It did cripple the First Order, though. But that’s besides the point.” Y/N swallows the full glass in one sip. “DJ has a good point no matter what he does for a living.” 

Poe considers all she’s saying. Flying an X-Wing is not the only way to help the cause and the cause is not the only one worth fighting for - though to him it’s still the most important.

“DJ fools himself that he’s in some kind of gray area, but the truth is his actions affect others. Sometimes it’s the Order, sometimes the Resistance.” She takes a breath to let her sentence sink in. “I just make sure mine only affect the Resistance in a good way.” 

Dameron’s still absorbing all the information, unable to speak.

“It’s all about balance, Commander.”

The song in the cantina stops and the silence makes Poe uncomfortable. He chugs his drink and makes his way to the stage. That’s the brightest spot in the cantina but still dimly lit. 

Y/N watches Dameron pick up a mandoviol and sit on the stool in front of the microphone. A few chords are played as he tunes it to his liking before clearing his throat and starting a [song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DX672aJ3iytY&t=NTUwYjkzMzFjM2MxMTJlMmM2YjAyNzQzMzBkMjhmNjMzNDBjNWI1ZCxpRXQyWkFFMQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AaF8KcT6bNszhlYTqD0J_fw&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsweetimagines.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F171334331506%2Fdesperate-measures-part-1&m=1). 

Poe sings the first verses and Y/N is taken aback by the pilot’s ability to express sentiment through lyrics. The combination of his facial features and soft voice set shivers down her spine. 

BB-8 holds out his lighter and she chuckles. Dameron lingers on the seat for a few seconds after the song ends and the crowd applauds. He takes a bow and returns to their table.

He sits - stumbles - back on the stool, leaning on the table with his forearm. The liquor has certainly crept up on him. 

“That was gloomy, Commander.” She raises her glass and he follows touching their glasses once more.

A chain slips from under his shirt, whose collar had gotten loose around his neck as the night progressed. She notices a ring entranced in it and wonders what it means, if it belongs to a partner, or worse: a lost one.

Her eyes travel up to meet his. Dameron’s expression darkens as he takes a sip from the refil BB just got him. His fingers work on placing the chain back inside his shirt. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to talk about it.

The air suddenly gets denser and harder to breathe. Embarrassment flushes her skin red. “I should go check on the ship. BB-8, you with me?” 

The droid beeps in agreement and before rolling his way out with her, he looks back for Poe’s consent.  

* * *

Just as BB-8 and BB-6 roll at her beeping that the ship is fully fixed, Poe tumbles up the boarding ramp. 

“Ready to go, Commander?”, she asks sardonically. 

“Sure am, and you should stop calling me  _Commander_.” He makes his way to the cockpit - holding onto the walls. 

Y/N catches him just as he slides down. “Maybe a bed is a better fit for you tonight, flyboy?” 

He mumbles something she can’t quite make up and shifts all his weight on her. He’s much heavier than she anticipated. 

His breath is hot on her neck as his head rests on her shoulder and she can smell the Corellian Whiskey he was having. 

Y/L/N knows she can’t carry him across the ship to the guest quarters as much as she wants to and the door to her own is just in front of them invitingly easier. She sighs before placing her hand on the keypad to unlock the door. 

The door slides open with a swish and she drops him on her bed. He immediately relaxes, stretching out his muscles and yawning.  

Y/N only manages to pull out his boots before he’s snoring quietly. She covers him with a blanket. 

Before exiting, she takes a moment to really look at him, unlike when he’s awake there’s peace and serenity in his features, not the usual worry and stress, not that those make him any less attractive - even if he was an ass, she’s not blind -  but sleep sets an alluring calmness to him.

BB-8 beeps her out of staring and a light blush appears on her cheeks. They make their way to the cockpit. Y/N types in the coordinates back to D’Qar and punches the hyperdrive, leaving with more than just what they came for. 


	2. Resistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance keeps Dameron and Y/L/N busy, but they still find a little time to get to know each other.

Poe wakes up to a loud thump. He gets up hurriedly, instantly getting dizzy. The ground feels unsteady beneath him. “ _What a hangover._ ” He thinks, still tasting the bitter Corellian whiskey he had the previous night.

Dameron makes his way to the cockpit, realizing he slept in the Captain’s chambers. He squints his eyes shut from the light in the corridor - not at all bright, but his eyes are sensitive - and holds onto the wall for support. 

He’s just about to ask for an update when another clunky noise fills his ears. Opening his eyes, he takes in the reason for the noise and the fact that he’s not that hungover. They’re just flying through an asteroid field.

“Are you space crazy, Y/N?” Poe leans on the dashboard, looking closer at their situation. 

“We were just a jump away from D’Qar but this was in the way.” Y/N’s voice is steady but her heart is racing. Her focus remains on the path before them. 

“WHY DIDN’T YOU RESET THE COORDINATES?” He sits down on the pilot seat, tense and stiff. His head is throbbing from a headache.

“The Resistance can’t afford even more of a delay.” Y/L/N knows she can do this, she has to.

“You’re gonna turn us into stardust.” Dameron rubs his hand over his face in frustration. 

He wants to knock her out of the pilot seat and take control of the ship, but that would only lower their survival rate. 

Y/N’s chanting a mantra to herself. “ _I can do this._ ”. Her hands barely move the joystick and the ship follows the command, avoiding an asteroid by mere inches. 

Poe has never seen a ship respond to such light touches before. Even his personalized X-Wing needs a more firm motion.

She’s flying mostly on instinct. If she wastes time looking at her instruments and scans, she’ll lose control of what’s ahead of her. They’re nearly out, she can see the clear space just a little further. 

“Six. How’s the shield holding up?”

The droid’s answer is not comforting. Y/N sees from her peripheral vision Poe fidgeting with the chain on his neck.

Y/L/N steers the Pursuit around a large rock, though when she brings the ship back on a right-side-up position, it hits a smaller one. Not hard enough to damage the hull. Either way the shield is giving in and she won’t have room for mistakes or they’ll be blown to bits. 

Her palms are sweaty but her grip in the stick is still tight, knuckles going white from the strength. Lights keep flashing in her dashboard. However, she keeps her eyes fixed on the last obstacles before they’re clear. 

She breaths in slow, completely filling her lungs with air, blocking everything else besides the asteroids. She may not be a Jedi like Luke, but meditating is still helpful. 

The ship obeys her every command as she dodges the space-rocks. They make it out of the asteroid field and she finally breaths out, relaxing her grip on the stick as Six calculates the next jump while BB-8 rolls happily on the spot. 

“That was insane.” Poe leans back on his seat. His shoulders are still tense, but his heartbeat is returning to normal and somehow his headache doesn’t seem too important anymore. 

Y/N gives him a smothered laugh, simultaneously amused they actually made it out and half smug. After all, she did learn from the best.

* * *

Leia is waiting for them in the hangar and clapping takes over the room as they step out of the Pursuit. Droids hurry to unload the ship.

Poe makes his way to the General, who gazes at him - split lip and light bruising on his cheek - in a mixture of annoyance and tenderness. “Do you ever come back unharmed, Commander?” 

“Hardly, General.” He gives a half-suppressed laugh. 

Leia’s focus shifts towards Y/N. She’s pleased to have the girl back safe - her old wounds seem to be healing well and none have been added. 

Y/L/N tries to discuss the fact that they only got a third of the fuel they were supposed to, but Leia won’t have it. She just wants to enjoy the day’s victory. “Tomorrow we worry about it.” Leia pats her shoulder.

* * *

BB-6 informs Y/N that Leia has summoned her to her office. The smuggler girl prepares her briefing of why they were a day late and how she already has a plan to get the rest of the fuel needed. 

Y/L/N wasn’t expecting Leia to dismiss it as she has already dealt with it with Commander Dameron. What really surprises her is that Organa wants her to stay on base. 

The girl is certainly taken aback by the suggestion, but Leia has a way, most likely a trick she picked up from being a Senator, that makes you think it’s your idea to begin with. 

Ultimately Y/N accepts. She knows what happened because of the First Order didn’t affect only her. Leia has already lost a son to the Order, so she doesn’t want to lose the closest thing she has to a daughter a well. 

In a way, the General feels guilty for what happened but Y/N is a smuggler. She chose this life and the risks that come with it. Her runs had been smooth for far too long - something was bound to happen at some point. 

* * *

Y/N has never been this long in the same place and it’s only been a few days. She does her part to help around base as much as she can, even “donating” BB-6 to serve as an astromech to one of the pilots in Black Squadron, so she’s not holding back resources. That even blossomed a friendship between BB-8 and BB-6. They now roll around the hangar beeping joyfully. 

She sleeps - when she manages to, because most nights her nightmares keep her up - in her ship instead of the quarters Leia offered on base. In a way, she’s not taking it from someone who needs it and, in another, her own chambers are much more comfortable and private. 

It’s just a bit weird for her living in the base’s underground hangar. Some pilots work on their X-Wings until late hours and others start first thing in the morning, so the place is always busy.

On the other hand, that’s good for business. Y/N takes on trading whatever alcohol she has left for anything the pilots have that she needs. She’s much more comfortable with trading rather than taking and Leia doesn’t seem to mind. 

The pilots even invite her to their small gathering to play card games, but Y/L/N is sure it’s just out of politeness, so she never shows up. She’s comfortable with simply being the supplier. 

* * *

Considering Y/N hasn’t had a decent homemade meal in a really long time, she can’t deny herself the simple, yet appetizing food prepared in the mess hall. 

Whatever they make is much better than her rations, even if she knows how to cook and has a half decent kitchen modded into the Pursuit, the smuggler hardly ever has time for such task. 

She doesn’t want to get used to the atypical comforts of being on base, though. “ _This is temporary._ ” The smuggler tells herself - Leia doesn’t seem to agree.

Y/L/N fills a bowl with spicy noodles, gets a side of salthia beans and a cup of caf, setting it on a metal tray so she can eat back in her ship as usual. Tonight she has the hangar all to herself - the pilots and mechanics share some high quality Corellian brandy she provided them - or so she thought. 

As she walk into the hangar, she’s almost run over from behind by a droid. She recognizes BB-8, carrying a tray with almost the same meal, just crawlfish instead of beans. The droid seems so giddy that Y/N can only guess the contents are for Poe Dameron. Eight has been in bad mood since Poe left on a mission without him.

Right she is. Dameron jumps out of the wing of his fighter, where he was doing repairs, realizing he’s not alone. He ties the sleeves of his flight suit around his hip as they stare at each other in tender silence. They haven’t seen each other since landing on base. 

“Y/N!” Poe strides to her, taking his tray from BB-8. “Heard you stuck around. Glad to hear it.” 

She giggles shyly as he really does sound glad, because that’s the last thing she’d expect to hear from the man she met at the strategy center a few weeks back. But that’s not the man standing in front of her right now. 

“Heard you didn’t.” 

Dameron nods. “Our food is gonna get cold. How about we catch up while having dinner?” He suggests with a grin.

If this were anyone else, Y/L/N would take this as a romantic advancement. “ _Surely, this aren’t his intentions_.” She thinks. “ _Or are they?_ ” The mere thought of it is enough to release a flock of butterflies in her stomach. 

She brushes it off and accepts. Her belly is already growling in hunger. They walk into the Pursuit to use the dinning area. BB-8 finds BB-6 in no time and both droids set off to the charging station to chat - date.

Poe fills her in on his run for fuel, the reason he was off base, in between bites. He tells her about the reason he chose to leave BB-8 behind and true despise fills his words as he speaks of the scavengers who merciless break apart droids to sell whatever parts are worth more. Y/N shares his contempt, BB-6 has been her only friend for far too long.

“It’s nice to meet someone else who doesn’t think droids are dispensable rather than sentient beings.” It’s not often you find someone with a symbiotic relationship with a droid instead of master/servant thing. Poe takes care of BB-8 and so he returns the favor, kind of like BB-6 and her. She smiles at the thought. 

Dameron is sure this is the first time she has so much as grinned, at least in his presence, and it’s intoxicating. He curls his lips up to match hers, staring at her even after hers disappear. When Poe realizes he has, he looks down at his food and habitually fidgets with the ring on his chest. 

“Did that belong to a partner lost because of a smuggler?” Y/L/N had wondered about it more than she should’ve and this was her most plausible theory. It would explain his primal hate for her kind.

Silence takes over the room. Y/N curses at herself. They’ve been having a pleasant night until now. “ _If only I had learned to hold my tongue_.” She mutters in a way only she can hear it.

Poe doesn’t seem mad about the question rather than lost in thought of how best to reply. How to look strong even though that is his greatest weakness.

“It belonged to my mother.” He pauses to make sure his voice comes out properly and he’s still breathing. “My father passed it on to me on her funeral.” His words come out choked as he tries to suppress a sob.

Y/N notices Dameron’s watery eyes and damns her curiosity for arising it. “I’m sorry.” She wants to comfort him or at least show compassion, but all she manages is that.

He takes a moment to regain himself before sharing whatever good memories he was able to retain from the short period he had with Shara. Food slowly vanishing as Y/N listens intently.

Y/L/N hears about the force sensitive tree in their front yard and how Poe used lay under the soothing shade of it with his mom after an afternoon of flying lessons; also on how they’d track around Yavin IV, him listening to exciting combat stories and war heroes. She grins at understanding the reason Dameron is who he is.

Poe earns a few more smiles from Y/N as the stories go and he’s careful not to stare them away. For unknown reasons, he can’t get enough of them. The brightest one comes after he tells her about learning how to do barrel rolls on his mom’s A-Wing.

She laughs and shares a story of her own, about how, when she was still a youngling, she convinced Ben that they could fly the Falcon just like his dad and Chewie, which ended up in a colossal disaster. Han wasn’t mad at them. Instead, he decided to actually teach them how to fly. 

“Han Solo taught you how to fly?” Poe raises his eyebrows and she nods. “That explains a lot.”

Y/N opens a bottle of Corellian wine and fills their glasses. They toast to the Resistance and take a sip.

“So your parents were also friends with the Organa-Solo family?” 

“Oh… no.” That’s not usually a subject Y/N likes to get into to but given how open Poe has been with her, she feels he deserves the same. “I was just a street rat, barely surviving, didn’t have anything except the clothes in my body and my name. I tried to pickpocket Han and instead of throwing me into a orphanage, he took me home and they raised me.” 

Dameron chokes on his wine and simply looks embarrassed. She shares her first moments with them, how she arrived at dinner time and Ben was scared of her because, in his words, she looked like an evil ewok - her hair was messy, her clothes dirty and she was short. He hid under his mother’s cloak while she set an extra plate at the table. Han explained to his son who Y/N was and why she was there.

“He didn’t say a word to me until dessert, when he levitated his bowl to me and said it looked like I needed it more than him.” They became inseparable, until they were obligated to part ways.

The taste mixed with their conversation makes her miss Han and Ben. Y/N knows he’s not the boy she knew anymore, she heard the stories. She hates Kylo Ren for stealing her friend.

She chooses to talk about something light to forget about Ben, telling Poe about Solo knowing she was saving the credits she got working for him to buy her own ship, then one day he just took her to a hangar and gave her the ship.

“” _Pursue your dreams, kid._ ” That’s what he said, so I named her Pursuit.” 

“She was old and rusty but she was mine.” Y/N used the credits she had saved to fix her up, make a few modifications and fund her first run.

Poe talks about the different ships he flew in the academy and how his heart belongs in an X-Wing. Y/N’s embarrassed to admit she never flew one.

“That’s unacceptable. I’ll teach you.” He promises kinda drunk. Y/L/N smiles but doesn’t believe he’ll remember what he said in the morning. She’ll be astonished if she does.

* * *

Not bonding after the night they shared was impossible. Poe starts dragging Y/N to sit with him and his Squadron in the mess hall, but she insists they have breakfast in the Pursuit. 

Y/L/N claims she has the best space waffles recipe - she managed to get her hands in the exact one used on Rex’s dinner - but it’s really just because she’s not a morning person.

Poe makes good on his word to teach her to fly an X-Wing. He gives her a few hours of theory after the day’s work, which usually leads to them sharing a meal and conversation while BB-6 and BB-8 chirp. Sometimes Poe even spends the night in one of her quarters, if he had too much to drink. That earns him a few teases from his Squadron. He never confirms nor denies their assumptions.

He takes her on a few gambling nights and she wipes the table clean, just how Han taught her. When his Squadron gets drunk enough, they start sharing stories, one of them about how the General wanted to use Poe in Resistance propaganda and how that would double the amount of people joining. That’s enough for Y/N to tease him about being the poster boy for the Resistance.

Y/N’s picking up fast so he switches to simulation runs but their training is occasionally interrupted by a few missions. Leia even gets a few for Y/N, such as gathering X-Wing parts and buying bombers. 

It’s frustrating having to stop when she’s just getting the hang of it but what really gets Y/N annoyed is how many times Poe arrives from missions going straight to the medbay. She tells herself it’s because that only delays her studies but deep down she knows she cares about him and that scares her.

What really bothers her, though, is the fact that he’s been running into Agent Terex on almost every single mission, not including the fact that they lost one of their own, someone close to Poe, L’ulo. She had the pleasure of meeting him and knew he would be dearly missed by not only his Squadron but the whole Resistance. 

Although she trusts Dameron’s skills, the memory - and scars - of “questioning” given to her by the First Order Agent is still recent and the thought of anyone else, specially him, going through that terrifies her.

* * *

Poe’s slowly walking towards the Pursuit in civilian clothes. That only happens if they have plans that don’t involve official business, but the helmet on his hand indicates this is not a social call.

The sight of his vintage roughish look is distracting, though. The combination of that cream v-neck shirt, beige leather jacket and black pants are enough to daze anyone on base. 

If it weren’t for a distraught look on his face, she’d take the opportunity to throw a pick-up line, something smooth like he cleans up nice. 

As he gets closer, his expression switches to a more casual one, but she’s not fooled: something’s bothering him.

“Walk with me?” He points at his X-Wing and she knows what he’s about to say.

“Off the books mission?” She asks rhetorically.

“This mission might change the course of the war.” He says both proudly and anxiously. 

“That means extra danger…” She bites the insides of her lips.

Dameron nods and neither of them want or can discuss it any further. 

He doesn’t want Y/N to stop training while he’s gone and he tells her one of his Squadron members offered to continue the sim runs with her.

She’s glad it’s Snap. If it were Jess, it would be too much fun and little study and the other way around with Karé.  It will be balanced with Snap.

BB-8 and BB-6 have a sweet farewell under Poe’s X-Wing before the orange droid is pulled up to his spot.

“You better bring him back in one piece or I’ll kick your ass all the way to the unknown regions, Flyboy.” She points at his chest and raises her eyebrows.

What she’s really saying is: come back safe.

Poe chuckles and wants to hug her. Instead, he settles for a handshake. Her soft fingers brush against his calloused palm, setting shivers over his arm. 

* * *

Y/N is not force sensitive, but she doesn’t have to be to know something is wrong. Being a smuggler has given her reliable instincts and right now they’re setting off all kinds of warnings relating Poe Dameron.

He was supposed to be back the previous night. She stayed up all night waiting to hear something, but it was radio silence. Sometimes delays are normal and she tries to tell herself that. However, her gut keeps disagreeing. 

Y/L/N waits for the sun to rise to head over to General Organa’s office. She paces back and forth waiting for Leia to arrive. When she doesn’t, Y/N goes to the control room and there Leia is. 

Organa doesn’t even have to say a single word for Y/N to know Poe is still MIA. The General pulls her aside and tells her she’s not deploying a rescue party.

“Commander Dameron knew the risks.” Leia explains as Y/N opposes the choice.

Part of her understands but the other wants to riot. She chooses to ignore the rebel inside her for just a while longer in case she’s right and he’s just late.

Y/N tries to focus on her studies but keeps staring at D’Qar’s sky searching for and X-Wing in the horizon. She’s fooled by a bird once and decides it’s stupid to keep watching. Y/L/N is not even sure why she cares this much, they were supposed to hate each other, at least Poe did hate her at first. Now she can’t imagine a galaxy without him fighting to make it a better one.

Y/L/N decides she can’t sit and wait anymore. She needs to take action.

“Kriffing top secret mission.” The smuggler has no idea where he went. If she were a slicer, that wouldn’t be a problem.

Y/N curses at nothing and everything at the same time the whole way to the control room. She knows it will be nearly impossible to any info on Poe’s mission from Leia, specially the location. 

As predicted, Leia is irreversible. Y/L/N’s frustrated. She understands not wanting to endanger more of her fleet, but Y/N is independent. 

“You can’t afford to lose your best pilot.” 

“I can’t afford to lose either of you, let alone both.” Leia nods a no ever so slightly. 

Y/N is just about to answer when her focus is drawn away from Leia. 

“Jakku!” Lieutenant Connix shouts. “He went to Jakku.” 

Y/N mouths her a thank you and flees before the General could say anything.

Leia looks back at Connix, not angry or disappointed, somewhat glad someone did what she couldn’t. Either way, she will probably suffer the consequences for insubordination. 

Y/L/N runs to the hangar as fast as her legs allow. 

“Sorry, Jess. I need BB-6.” She says breathlessly.

“You’re going after Poe?” Y/N nods, catching her breath. “May the force be with you.”

Y/N listens to Six telling her about her latest flight with Jess and that she flies crazy, just how Six likes, but once they reach the Pursuit, Y/N asks her to ready the ship for Jakku and that they need to be careful. 

“We’re bringing Poe Dameron home.” The droid beeps in agreement and rolls hurriedly to the cockpit. 

* * *

Y/N hates the waiting. She’s going at lightspeed, but it’s still not fast enough and there’s nothing she can do except standing by and fearing she’ll be too late.

A red light on her dashboard signals a comm call from the Resistance. She contemplates ignoring but she has nothing better to do and Leia’s disapproval will be easier to face over a call.

“Are you mad?” 

“Not as much as I should be.” Leia didn’t call to fight. “I just figured you’d appreciate knowing that Commander Dameron has commed from a ship he scrapped on Jakku. He’s on his way back to base.”

“Thank the Maker.” Y/L/N sighs in relief. 

“However, the information he was sent to gather is in the keeping of his droid, who’s lost and wanted by the First Order. Get back here so I can focus on finding BB-8 instead of worrying about you.” 

“Right away, General.” 

The call ends and Y/N’s left feeling stupid for overreacting. She came all this way for nothing and Poe’s sure to tease her about it for the rest of her life. 

“ _Did I just insinuate I’m going to spend my life with him?_ ” Y/L/N whispers to herself. 

She’s typing the coordinates to D’Qar on the nav computer when a holocall request rings on her private comm.

“Maz! To what do I owe the pleasure?” BB-6 beeps a greeting. She loves how Maz Kanata pampers her for being a good droid every time they spot by. 

“You never message, never comm. How is old Maz supposed to know you’re alive?” Kanata teases before getting to the point. “Just wanted to let you know Han’s here… With a new crew and a droid… wanted by the empire.” She emphasizes that last part.

“BB-8!”

“I figured it was wanted by the Resistance as well.”

“Not wanted, he belongs to us.” That’s the first time she referred to herself as part of the Resistance. It was completely unconscious. “Hold them back please, Maz. I’m on my way.” 

Y/N changes the coordinates one more time, seconds before reaching Jakku. She doesn’t know it, but she just avoided another awkward run-in with the First Order.

* * *

Y/N flies over the green filled planet. It has been far too long since she has been there.

She lands the Pursuit on the first free spot, luckily right next to he Millennium Falcon on the edge on the lake. 

Chewie saw her coming and was waiting for her at the boarding ramp. He hugs her tight and she notices the bandages. The Wookie assures her he’s fine with sideway nods. 

 Y/L/N instructs BB-6 to stay back fixing the Falcon so that Chewie and her can go find Han. The droid tries to argue but accepts. 

As Y/N reaches the entrance of Maz Kanata’s castle, she’s bumped by a running girl, almost making her fall over.

After her, comes a rolling droid, orange and white. “BB-8!” She shouts but he’s already out of sight, following the girl.

“Great. Just found him and he’s lost again…” She shrugs and Chewbacca explains in very few details who the girl is and how they ended up there as they walk through the gates. 

Before she can take a step inside the castle, a red glow catches her attention. It streaks across the sky like a massive blaster bolt. 

Everything after that is a blur as it happens so fast. 

She runs in to find Han and before she even has a chance to hug him, the walls crumble on top of them, making it slightly difficult for them to escape.

First Order ships cross the sky and Tie fighters fire against the castle. Maz and Han barely make it out after Chewie, her and the new comer, Finn. 

They fight a losing battle as they are outnumbered, but that never stopped them before. 

Soon those numbers catch up to them and they are being escorted by stormtroopers among the debris. 

“Welcome back, kid.” Han snickers, as this just started to feel like a family reunion. Chewie growls at the horizon and they see it too: friendly ships approaching.

Just as being captured is their normal, so is being rescued by the Resistance. 

They waste no time retrieving their weapons as the storm of X-Wings take down both Ties and troopers. 

They fight a while longer but the stormtroopers are pulled back soon. The Order gets what they need from the planet and leave them to the ruins. 

For a second Y/N is scared they took BB-8, but he comes rolling out of the woods as Finn screams for Rey at the command shuttle flying away. 

Y/L/N kneels in front of the round droid to look him over and make sure he’s ok. He’s all sandy and has a few scorch marks - nothing they can’t fix once he’s back to base. 

“I got someone who’s gonna be very excited to see you.” She whispers to him.

He beeps excitedly trying to guess. 

“That’s right. Six is back at the ship.” Y/N smiles at how precious those two droids are. She had never considered droids falling in love, but these ones proved it possible. 

Han walks closer to where General Organa’s shuttle is about to touch down. Y/N watches as they reunite after so long. Though, as always, you can count on C3-PO to ruin a good moment. 

Y/L/N suppresses a laugh and motions Finn and BB-8 to follow her. The smuggler girl frowns. She finally has time to actual focus on the new comer.

“That’s Poe’s jacket.” Before he can answer, Eight is beeping sadly that it’s because Poe is gone.

“What? No. He’s alive.” She shakes her head. “He made it out of Jakku.” 

BB-8 couldn’t be happier. He rolls as fast as he can towards the ships, wasting no time on getting back to his friend - not master. 

BB-6 is waiting impatiently. She witnessed the destruction but had specific orders not to leave that spot. When she sees the orange and white ball approaching, she speeds towards him and they roll around one another a few times before touching foreheads.  

“Come on, ball.” Han points at the ship. BB-8 beeps that he’s grumpy but rolls in with Chewie. “See you back at base, kid.” They hug briefly, then Solo is off to the Falcon.

He takes off and she watches him vanish into lightspeed before getting in the Pursuit and preparing herself to go back home. For a while, her ship has been home.

* * *

Y/N lands on the open docking area. The underground hangars are far too busy for her to take her usual spot as of now. 

BB-6 doesn’t even wait for the ramp to be fully down before rolling out to find BB-8.

Before Y/N has a chance to tell her droid she’s going in the wrong way, she’s already out of sight. 

Y/L/N spots BB-8 chatting with Poe who’s knelt down to the droid’s eye level. He’s back in his flight suit and there’s no denying orange looks good on him. Poe stands up suddenly and starts racing her way. 

Y/N’s heart leaps, but before she can take a step to meet him, he stops to hug Finn. He doesn’t see her until he’s finished with the newcomer. 

Poe thinks Y/N is a sight for exceptionally sore eyes. He strides up to her slowly, trying to give his brain time to think of something to say. About how he thought about her every second he was away, how he never gave up fighting to come back or how he’s thankful she went after him, but his words fail him and he’s just staring at her in silence.

“You gotta be more careful, Flyboy. The Resistance needs you in one piece.” Y/L/N curses at herself. She meant to say “ _I’m glad you’re alive._ ” 

Dameron scratches the back of his neck, tugging nervously at his hair.

“I had the feeling you’d be happier to see me, given you flew all the way to Jakku after me.” He teases.

“I was already heading that way.” They both know perfectly well that’s not true. 

“Liar.” Poe inches closer to her.

“Just kiss me already.” She closes the gap between them, locking her lips on his and feeling like they’re floating among the stars. 


	3. Starkiller Base

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A victory that almost doesn’t compensate its loss.

Y/N spaces out for a moment while Snap’s briefing everyone about his extremely dangerous reconnaissance mission on Starkiller Base.

Her mind wanders to the past, even though she’s retaining every piece of information Snap has to give and anything said in the strategy center.  

Leia always had a stronger connection with Ben - maybe because she carried him in the womb or something to do with the force, perhaps even the fact that it was Han who found and chose to raise Y/N rather than her - not that she didn’t love Y/N, but it didn’t come naturally to her, the way it did for her husband. 

Ben fought - from a young age - to bond with Han the same way. Always trailing his father, saying he’d grow up to be a pilot like him. Y/N and him would play pretend on cardboard boxes. He was Han and she was Chewie and they were on space adventures.

Han tried - exhausted every attempt within him in order to express his feelings right - but there was a barrier between them. As much as either loved the other unconditionally, it was as if something was holding them back. (Snoke!)

It was simply easier with Y/N. There wasn’t any pressure to mess her up as with his son. She’s not really his daughter and it’s obvious since she never took his last name - or Leia’s, for what’s worth - no matter how many times he offered.

Y/N used to feel intimidated by Leia when she was growing up. The Organa name carries weight and demands respect. Also, it didn’t help that Leia was so vastly knowledgeable and accomplished. The little girl never thought she would compare to her mother.

Despite their preferences, the best of times for all of them was always when they were together. It was rare, with Han’s flying and Leia’s senatorial duties, but whenever they had a moment, it was perfect.

Now - after so long - she has both her parents in the same room. Her mind doesn’t seem to believe her eyes and, even discussing war, she has a shy smile on her lips.

They’re only missing one person for the family to be back together. That seems just as unrealistic to happen as Han getting back in the fight with the Resistance… and yet, here he is. It makes Y/N hold onto the blind hope that maybe so will her best friend, bother, Ben Solo.

It truly feels like home when Han suggests blowing something up. Y/N chuckles quietly while they figure out a way to make it work with all the defensive shields around that blasted thing.

“I’m coming with you.” She affirms, just after they found a way to disable the shields.

Solo’s familiar smug grin curls his lips in pride and Organa’s disapproving eyes flash on him. Y/L/N really feels like their youngling again - Han always leading her into danger and Leia trying to keep her safe - only now it’s her decision and neither can argue. The biggest difference this time, though, is that she has someone new looking at her with worry.

Poe doesn’t quarrel against it - even though he’d like to - because he understands the need to take action and part of him likes seeing her more involved with the Resistance. For what is worth, he’ll be right along, waiting to blast Starkiller to pieces the second they get the shields down.

Before the meeting is wrapped, Y/N steps up. “Even if we destroy their base, they still know our location. We must start evacuating.”

Leia smiles at her daughter and instructs Lieutenant Connix to reach out to their ally planets and create and evacuation plan. 

* * *

Y/L/N walks along Dameron to the open hangar. BB-8 and BB-6 rolling by their heels, chippering about how they’ll be up in space together and that can be considered a romantic date. Only droids can find a battle romantic.

“Nervous?” Poe tangles his hand on hers, trying to get as much contact as they can before takeoff.

“Me? I’m cool as a dead star. How about you, Flyboy?” Y/N teases, knowing their both a bit apprehensive.

“Just glad you decided to ignore DJ’s advice and join.” He chuckles as she mock slaps his chest. 

“Neutrality in the face of such evil is compliance.” She kisses him hungrily as they reach Black One. “May the force be with you, Commander Dameron.”

He pulls her in by the wrist before she can walk away and connects their lips one more time. “Come back to me, sweetheart.” 

She nods with a smile. “You’re not getting rid of me so easily.” BB-6 beeps her goodbyes and rolls over to Jess’ X-Wing.

* * *

“Hauling Rathtars? On the Eravana?” Y/N asks half way into the lightspeed jump to Starkiller Base, leaning against the back of the pilot chair. 

Chewbacca growls they smuggled worse in that freighter. Han just shrugs, keeping his eyes on the dashboard.

“Yes! He’s insane.” Finn’s overreactions amuse Y/N. He’s a sweet guy despite being an ex-stormtrooper. He’s been catching her up on how he saved Poe, found Rey and BB-8 and eventually ended up with the Resistance. 

“If you think that’s crazy, wait until you hear about our landing at lightspeed.” Y/L/N teases, chuckling. 

Finn looks like he could faint at the idea. Y/N, on the other hand, has full confidence that if anyone can pull this off is Han Solo. 

Y/L/N wraps herself in a sythfur long coat, only way to survive the walk to the base in the snow. Finn seems to be comfortable only in Poe’s jacket, but he did work on Starkiller, so he’s used to the cold. Chewie growls about the weather reminding him of Hoth.

The revelation about Finn being a genitor, not knowing how to disable the shields and only being there to find Rey almost makes Y/N choke him on the spot, thinking he’s a traitor. She contains herself - barely - both because he saved Poe and he knows the base. He’ll help them even if she has to hold a blaster to his head.

Lucky for him, he’s the one holding a blaster to someone’s head, Captain Phasma’s, making her disable the shields and eventually dumping her on a garbage shute. 

* * *

Despite all odds, they find Rey and head to Pricinct 47 to blow up their oscillator.

Han instructs Finn and Rey to set the explosives in the upper floors while Chewie, Y/N and him take the lower ones. 

“Be careful.” Han holds onto Y/N’s shoulders for a second before they split up to cover more ground.

Y/N set the half dozen bombs she was handed and is already on her way up when a sudden scream echoes in the room.

“Ben!” She hadn’t heard that name coming from Han’s voice in so long.

Her eyes travel around the room trying to find them. Han’s walking over the narrow platform to the other side where his son stands.

Y/L/N hurriedly and recklessly climbs the last few steps to the floor Han was in and jogs to catch up with them. Solo doesn’t need to turn around to knows she’s there and motions for her to stay her ground.

She can’t hear what they’re saying as shock has muffled her ears, but she can see Ben remove his mask.

His long hair falls from the mask, framing his face. It looks just as soft as she remembers, except now he’s a man, not a boy. 

Y/N knows that the man before her is Kylo Ren, not Ben Solo. However, that doesn’t stop her eyes from closing and her mind from taking a trip down memory lane. 

* * *

_Ben’s leaving so he can train his powers with his uncle Luke. Y/N’s going with Han to work on the five sabers._

_He had already said his farewell to his parents so it’s just his friend - best friend - left and this seemed harder. They had grown up together and he despises the prospect of growing away from her._

_They stand in front of one another for what feels like forever. This is a turning point on their lives and they both know it, but neither dares voice it. Almost as if it not being said can prevent it from happening._

_Y/N moves first, leaping into Ben’s arms for one last embrace. He wraps his arms around her softly - against his wish to hold on as tight as possible - resting his chin on top of her head. Even though they are both eleven, he’s already much taller than her._

_“You won’t miss me too much with all those races.” Ben jokes, not letting his true feelings out.  
_

_“You won’t even remember me while learning all those Jedi tricks.” Y/N teases back and they both laugh, finally letting go of each other.  
_

_“Promise you’ll come find me when you’re a Master, so you can show off your lightsaber skills?” Her eyes are foggy with forming tears, but she’s trying to stay strong.  
_

_“Promise.” He kisses her forehead and they go their separate ways. He wants to turn around and run to her, tell his parents, again, that he wants to be a pilot, not a Jedi, that if he could trade his power, he would. Instead, he follows his uncle, unwillingly leaving his friend behind.  
_

_Y/N looks back before entering the Falcon, but Luke’s transport is already in the air. “Bye, Ben.” She waves at the disappearing ship, watching it vanish into lightspeed._

_Han gives a sympathetic smile, but there’s pain in his lopsided grin, and even an eleven-year-old, not force sensitive can see it. She takes the copilot chair that used to belong to Chewbacca - before he returned to his family in Kashyyyk - as her father sets the coordinates to Theron._

* * *

Y/L/N’s eyes open, fogged by forming tears. She spots Ren’s mask on the ground and Han face to face with his son.

The faint sun light that was creeping in from the openings disappears completely and the whole room glows red. This is it, the First Order can fire at any moment and wipe out the Resistance. 

That seemed like the worst thing until the tip of Kylo’s lightsaber is visible through Han’s torso all the way through his back.

Cries in denial echo on her ears until her eyes catch up to the act. Before she can do anything, Solo is already falling from the bridge. 

Ren drops to his knee in weakness. Y/N runs into the platform but stops as he stands up. He towers over her, not only in height but in power. 

“How could you?” Her voice filled with heartache and disappointment. 

Kylo takes a moment to recognize her. He had been suppressing childhood memories for too long and she’s grown out of the little girl he knew. A hint of remorse hits him at seeing her face wet with tears. He ignores it.

Ren swallows dry as Y/L/N raises her blaster at him. She doesn’t get the chance to fire as his reflexes are quicker than her finger on the trigger. In an expert movement of his hand, he’s got her in a force hold. 

“You don’t understand.” In this moment, he doesn’t either. He expected the conflict within him to cease after ending his ties to Han Solo once and for all. Yet, they remain, growing even, and he feels unstable as if an important part of him is lost forever.

Chewbacca shoots at his abdomen with his bowcaster, making him release Y/N involuntarily. He already witnessed his best friend murdered by his own son, so he refuses to watch him do the same to whom was once his sister. 

The Wookie bellows for her to run because he’s gonna detonate the explosives.

She blasts the stormtroopers blocking her way, catching up to Chewie. They escape the crumbling building just in time.

* * *

Y/N’s hit with a wave of emotions - guilt, regret and gut-wrenching sorrow - upon sitting on the pilot’s chair in the Falcon. She takes off the ship with Chewie as a copilot. He turns on a spotlight so they can find Finn and Rey in the forest. 

She stays in the cockpit while Chewbacca carries an unconscious Finn inside. Her eyes fill with tears but they don’t even have time to fall before the Falcon is in the air, flying away from the exploding Starkiller base, missing one member of it’s crew. It’s Captain for so many cycles but not enough. 

Poe does his job without hesitation, but his heart skips a beat - many, actually -, until he sees the Millennium Falcon join the X-Wings in space. That doesn’t exactly guarantee Y/N’s safety, but it brings him some comfort.

He watches his command and the Falcon disappear into hyperspace, following after every other ship has jumped. He doesn’t even realize he’s holding his breath until he lets it go when he reaches D’Qar, refilling his lungs with recycled air as he lands.

* * *

Y/L/N flies mostly on muscle memory because her mind is using all its power to try and make sense of Ren’s action, to no avail. Her brother, Ben Solo, is dead, and the man who took over murdered Han Solo. She fells pain like never before, not even Terex’s torture hurt this bad.

First thing she does after touching down on the Resistance base is running back to the Pursuit. She knows Chewie and Rey will take care of Finn.

Poe sprints after Y/N as fast as his legs allow, not even close to her speed. By the time he reaches her ship, she’s on the ground of her chambers by a pile of burning flimsi.

He puts the flames out before it gets to the wires and causes the ship to blow up. His hands instinctively cup her cheeks as he hears her weeps. He searches for wounds and is slightly relieved not to find any.

However, she’s still crying helplessly over something - like she never did before. He holds her tenderly while she sobs in his arms, rubbing circles on her back and gently rocking them back ad forth.

Y/N didn’t know then, when Ben and her were saying goodbye, but he placed with the force a handwritten letter on her robes. After that, he continued sending more, until he vanished and the jedi temple burned. 

The first one was telling her to be strong, some were updates on his training and asking her about flying; others, rants about his frustrations towards being away, but all ended with his signature:  _Your soul brother, Ben Solo_.

She held onto to them fondly all this time in hopes that he’d find his way back, but now she wants him to be lost forever. There’s no forgiving what he did. She wants to forget everything about Ben Solo.

Dameron’s humming the words of a Yavian lullaby. He doesn’t know what caused this, so all he can do is try to soothe her. “What happened sweetheart?” His tone is soft but filled with worry.

Y/L/N sighs and grabs his collar tightly, trying to make sure he’ll stay with her. She’s manages to speak, voice coarse and breaking. “He’s gone. Han’s gone.” 


End file.
